I am currently reading "The Levity Effect" by Gostick and Christopher which reveals, after 10 years research, how humour in the workplace leads to a better working environment. We have decided to start with a few fun items in our newsletter.
Revenue decide to audit Grandpa and summons him to their office.
The tax inspector was not surprised when Grandpa showed-up with his accountant (not from Parfrey Murphy!).
The inspector said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle, and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the Revenue finds that believable.’
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’
The inspector thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand euro that I can bite my own eye.’
The inspector thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The inspector’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand euro that I can bite my other eye.’
Now the inspector can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned inspector now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s accountant as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
‘Want to go double or nothing ?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand euro that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’
The inspector, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy or anyone else could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much wees all over the inspector’s desk.
The inspector leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s own accountant moans and puts his head in his hands.
’Are you okay?’ the inspector asks.
’Not really,’ says the accountant. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me €25,000 that he could come in here and p#$$ all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’